I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
