Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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