its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
