Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize