ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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