Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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