Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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