im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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