Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
