He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
