my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
two words: eviction party
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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