I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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