goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize