i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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