Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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