I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
