New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize