In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
