you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was confusing and full of hummus
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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