Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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