did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
