call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize