windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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