what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
