the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
