Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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