Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
