just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
