Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
