IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
