Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....