just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
