Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store