i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
