I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize