Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
