whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Randomize
