I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just gargled with NyQuil
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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