remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
