I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
