I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
