She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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