tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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