That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Randomize
