Porn is love you can see.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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