I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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