I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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