All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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