im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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