He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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