That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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