Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
