Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize