i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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