1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
