Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
