when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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