ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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