My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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